Warning!

By the way, something strange is going on in my house.

This dog may look like Chip. But it is not. 

He is a clever imposter, otherwise known as Scriffles the Slanket Stealer. Unlike the usual generous, kind and unselfish behavior Chip displays, Scriffy the Slanket Stealer is self-serving, mean and somewhat vulgar.

My skull-print Walk the Slank slanket is one of my most prized possessions – Dhany bought it for me last birthday because I wouldn’t stop bitching about how my hands got cold in the air-conditioning when I wanted to read.

Enter: my very own blanket with sleeves! (No, Conan, it’s not stupid, all the friends I’ve shown it love it too.)

But now, with S the SS in my house, every morning, I wake up, shivering in the darkness and the chilly morning air, wondering where my slanket has gone.

Then I see this.